Your binge eating behavior has developed over time…
and can be incredibly challenging to overcome, so be easy on yourself. Read over these tips to stop binge eating and give each one a legitimate shot. What have you got to lose?
All of them may not work for you. A lot of them will. There is not one “cure-all” to end the binge eating cycle, so it will take some experimenting. After you find a tip that works for you, keep doing that one and try adding another to the list over time.
If you’re patient and consistent, you can overcome binge eating.
- Stop Trying to Be Perfect
It has been proven that those with perfectionistic tendencies tend to have eating disorders.
We want to have control over things in our lives that we have no control over and sometimes we do it with food.
We think we can control calories; the low-fatness of our food, how clean it is, how we prepare it and on and on, then something happens outside of our control and we binge eat.
I know it is tough, but you have to let go of your desire to control the things around you. People make mistakes. That is part of life.
You cannot control the world through your food intake.
- Dieting is Not the Answer
If I were to guess, I would say that a diet may have spun you into your first binge cycle.
It goes hand-in-hand with what we were saying about being a perfectionist. You will not find a single diet out there that allows you to control your feelings through food.
It is not possible. Stop looking.
Now, here’s one that may blow your mind…
- Think About ADDING Foods Rather Than Restricted Them
Anytime you add something, something else must be taken away. It is scientific fact.
Stop thinking you can never have a particular food again.
If you think you can never have your favorite food again for the rest of your life, guess what? There is a part of you that rebels against that and you will either stop yourself from having it for a little while using sheer will power only to have that collapse unexpectedly and binge on that exact food OR you will binge on something else that tastes similar and justify it by saying, “Well, it wasn’t lasagna.” Even though it was some combination of pasta, sauce and cheese.
Restriction leads to Binge Eating leads to Guilt/Shame leads to Restriction leads to Binge Eating… and the cycle continues.
Break that cycle by removing Restrictions.
Instead, think about some quality foods you like (or want to try) that you can add to your meals. Fruits, veggies, meats, nuts, etc.
Your weight does not define you.
Numbers mean nothing in the context you think they do.
Your weight doesn’t determine your success.
Stop letting where you think you should be derail you from where you want to go.
End of story.
- Leave Cheat Days Behind
Cheat days are not the cure for binge eating. Far from it.
Some people think if they are “good enough” with what they eat during the week that they can go nuts on the weekend and eat whatever they want.
Again, this is a form of trying to control your food intake. Restrict, restrict, restrict, restrict, restrict… BOOM! Saturday comes and people use it as an excuse to binge eat junk food. Step back and look at this. You are trying to “control your binge eating schedule.”
If you’ve done this, then I don’t have to tell you that after the binge day, even if it was “scheduled,” you will feel guilty. Not to mention physically ill.
Eliminate cheat days and watch your binging dissolve.
- Learn to Celebrate Every Single Little Victory
We can be so hard on ourselves that it is easy to lose sight of the positive things we’ve done.
Perhaps a gratitude journal may sound cliché, but it works. At the end of each day, write down 3 things you did correctly and 3 things that you are grateful for.
We spend so much time running around getting things done and beating ourselves up that we often forget about our victories moments after they’ve happened.
It could be as simple as:
“I felt angry at Dad for saying ________ this morning, recognized they were only feelings and instead of waiting for him to leave the house and binging on cookies, I took three deep breaths, grabbed an apple and went for a walk.” Or…
“I am grateful for my cat, Lucy. No matter what happens, she is always there for me, purring and rubbing up against me.”
They don’t have to be major things. Trust me, when you shift your focus, you shift your life.
Stop trying to regulate everything: where and when to eat, how much, how many calories, when I will run afterwards to burn those calories, etc. The rules you think are so important are holding you back.
You don’t need anyone to tell you what to eat or how to eat. Chances are you know more than them anyway.
Trust your body. Listen to it.
Are you genuinely hungry? As in, does your body need sustenance to thrive or are you swallowed up in emotions and want to eat to escape them?
Use that journal and write down when you feel the impulse to eat versus when you feel your body saying, “Hey, I could use some fruit right now. An apple sounds really good. Thank you.”
If you get centered and ask yourself what is going on right now, that will be a huge insight into when and why you are eating.
- Focus Your Energy On What You and Your Body Are Capable Of.
Everyone knows we need to move our bodies to feel our best. However, sometimes it is hard to find the motivation to exercise, especially if we are ashamed of our bodies.
Here is another cliché for you: focus on what you CAN do. Nothing else.
No one is asking you to run a marathon or lift heavy weights.
What is something you’ve always wanted to do that would make you happy?
Remember riding your bike as a kid? How freeing that felt? When is the last time you took a bike ride?
Or a simple walk? Walking stimulates endorphins and one easy 15-minute walk can completely change your body and brain chemistry.
If you’re already an avid gym goer, shift your focus. Instead of seeing how many calories you burn on the elliptical, try something new. Something out of the norm for you. The body responds positively to varied exercise.
- Write 3 Actions You Can Take Today
Stating over and over “I have to stop binge eating!” will get you nowhere.
You have to break down your intention (to stop binge eating) into actionable steps.
This is the only way to get to your destination: freedom from binge eating.
Create some easily actionable steps on a daily basis. Even one is enough.
The following is a partial list of suggestions:
- I will take the time to journal my feelings 3x per day.
- Before I eat anything, I will ask myself if I am really hungry or “emotionally hungry.”
- I will make a list of healthy foods I want to try and stock my kitchen with them.
- I will take one 10-minute walk today.
- I will eat my food slowly and be grateful for this moment.
- I will write down three things I am grateful for before I go to sleep.
Keep these mini-goals close to you, so you can refer to them throughout the day.
10. Remove Temptation Food
Sounds simple enough.
You know what your trigger foods are. Get them out of your house.
It doesn’t mean you can’t ever have them again, but make it hard to get them. You are less likely to binge if you have to drive somewhere to get the food. Keep them out of arm’s reach.
11. Exercise Patience
We all want to be “healed” yesterday.
It doesn’t work that way. It took you most of your life to get where you are and results will come, but perhaps not overnight.
It will take you diligence to overcome binge eating, but it is possible.
Write your daily victories down and review them at the end of each week. You will be stunned at what just one week of success looks like.
12. Love Yourself
This is what no perfectionist wants to hear, but listen and listen good: you are going to make mistakes. You will slip up. It is part of the process and 100% okay.
When this happens, love yourself anyway. Step back, make note of what you learned and give yourself a pat on the back for being human.
13. Self Care
Do one thing every single day that makes you feel good. It is vitally important to take care of yourself in nurturing and loving ways.
A few examples might include:
- Taking a bubble bath
- Tuning everything out except your favorite music
- Playing with your pet
- Getting a massage
- Get a new haircut. Or manicure.
- Take a spa day
- Light your favorite scented candle
- Meditate
The list is endless. Write down all of your favorite things, pick one and do it.
14. Surround Yourself with Positive People
Who are the people in your life that help create chaos and stress?
Make a list of them.
Now, start eliminating anyone who is not supportive of you or your goals. It doesn’t have to be a big deal. Politely decline invitations to hang out with them. Make time for yourself and nurturing yourself.
It may feel scary at first, but believe me, as these people slowly fade away, you will feel a renewed sense of life that is hard to beat. And, like we said earlier, when you let something go, something else has to fill its place. Fill it with loving and supportive friends and family.
If you are so mired in unsupportive people that you don’t know who to reach out to, may we suggest these two groups. Every single person there will understand your struggle. No one will judge, because they’ve all been there themselves. They will inspire you in ways you never knew possible.
TAKE AWAY:
Do not try to do all of this at once.
Print this page out and pick the very first one that feels good to you.
Do that and only that until you master it.
Then, try adding another one to it. And then another.
Pretty soon, you will notice major shifts in your perspective and well-being.
WRITE IT DOWN.
It is too easy to forget your progress with everything else you have going on in your life.
Take small actions on a daily basis. Be consistent. Be good to yourself.
Please share this with anyone you may know who is struggling with binge eating.
We believe in you.
I just wanted to say how much of an impact this article had on me. Having struggled with a lot of guilt and shame today because of a binging episode yesterday, I just wanted to be negative. This article really put things in perspective for me and gave me some really useful tools for the next time I get the urge to binge. I feel like I’m not alone and that the author of this article totally gets me! Thank you again for your encouraging words.
Hey Lara,
Thanks for the kind words.
You are definitely not alone. As the site
grows you’ll be able to meet many more folks
just like you. And I do totally get you.
Seriously, we’re all not that different.
Banding together gets us better.
Be well,
Michael
I don’t know how long I’ve been a binge eater. But, I know why. Eating my emotions instead of identifying them and dealing with them has equaled to becoming at least 150 lbs overweight over 30 years. But, knowing why I binge hasn’t changed my habits. Hopefully, this site will help me.
Thank u for the inspiration! I do have a perfectionistic personality. I will take the suggested steps in cutting myself some slack.
I’m a binge eater and have been for more than 30 years, at least that’s how long I’ve known. If I think about it, I’ve binged my whole life. Binge eating when depressed or angry, hurt, defeated rejected, unloved, beat down and much more. I’m not ashamed. Got rid of shame in late 20s. Before that I wouldn’t eat in public, a nasty turn toward this deficiency.
I’ve written a book that’s in the editing stages.
Thanks for posting Joyce.
I personally look forward to
reading your book. Anything
we can do to help promote it
just let us know.
Michael
I am so happy to find this site. I need it more than I can say.
Dear Michael,
I am in my 40s and realizing that my issue with weight gain/loss, and depression is most likely due to binge eating. I am so glad that this is being talked about and now proof that it is a real health issue and recognized by the medical profession. I have struggled for 20 years now and have been very miserable emotionally and physically. It is a real battle and one that is hard for me since I have a lot of negativity in my family and stresses in my life. I will continue to educate myself with ways to stop these unhealthy habits in dealing with emotions. I thank you for taking the time to reach out to so many of us who have been suffering in silence and embarrassed and no where to turn. Thank you and God Bless.
Hi Carol,
Thanks for the kind words but it’s
folks like you that build the community
that helps us all recover.
I would work first on that negativity in
your life if you can. Sometimes (most times)
“it’s not about the food”
Please stay in touch here as your words are
helping others right now.
Best,
Michael
Hi Michael. I’m a 23 years old semi-pro runner. I’ve been dealing with binge eating for one year. My main problem is to manage weight gain (which literally terrifies me). I didn’t read about keeping a food diary on your resources. What do you think about? I mean: no “app” but a “paper”-diary (to have a greater “impact” when you write it), where writing hours, place, food, feeling, mouth/belly hunger and so on…
Hey Marco,
Using a journal is one of the basic tools of recovery.
I, like you, prefer to write out my feelings. Stick with
the food and your feelings, before and after you eat, and
you’ll be amazed to look back and see the patterns.
Be honest too. You’re doing this for YOU.
Michael
Hi, I have been binge eating for about 20 years have gained 50 ugly pounds, your article is the first I have read about this problem and I am going to do what you wrote about in the article, I have felt so hopeless about my issue and it did start the first time I started my first diet ever. I am also going to see a therapist who specializes in food issues, thank you for bringing this issue to light. DianaDouglass
I have probably always binged on food. And then I starve out of guilt. I am a very brittle diabetic and to be honest, the binging and starving are probably killing me. Yet when you have diabetes, weight and the numbers of calories, carbs, and general information about food are all you hear from your “support” system, both medical and friends and family. I am going to work on this and hopefully can find some people who have had similar problems to give me some pointers on how to satisfy my body and its needs and correct the problems that are causing me so much pain and guilt. I realize that this is negative and for that I am sorry, but it is most definitely honest and for that I make no apologies. This is all new to me as of today and so please consider that when you read this. A long way to go….
Hi my name is Jeanette and I’m in my forties and my whole life has been a struggle for the point of my conception and continues as of today but I would like to know if I am a horrible person if I think that my husband has been and is still currently secretly sabotaging my weight loss and binge eating issues. I know that for the most part I have not made him ever responsible for what I was to or not to put in my mouth. He has been doing the shopping for our groceries the last 10 years because I mentally and physically can’t endure it and chooses the majority of the food choices well what am I to think when he comes home nothing but with bags full of junk food for any persons body type and my weight isn’t something of a slight issue unfortunate my under 5 foot stature it’s very obvious that I I’m quite overweight. My husband isn’t a cool person but I just can’t help but to think that he is subconsciously doing this for some reason and I can’t be that crazy! Point please respond thank you
Sorry for the late reply Jeanette.
Sometimes we need to separate our relationships
from our recovery/food plan. You really do need
to be 100% involved in your own food choices.
Dealing with your relationship, while inevitably
will be intertwined with your recovery, must take
second place while you get stable in your food
choices. As you get stronger you can look at the
relationship too.
Keep coming back and keep us updated.
M
I’m so glad I came across this article and thank you for taking the time to write it.
It is enlightening and gives me hope. I could recognise myself so much. Perfectionist, firstly. Not loving myself, everyone else is better than me and yet if I sit back and take a look inside myself, I’ve overcome so much in life, I am strong and should have the strength to overcome this next big obstacle.
I’ve cut out the big negatives that were in my life and I’m happier for doing so. This Binge eating is my next project. I say that, as I’ve always found I battled with myself, all my life, I was fighting me, how mad is that? It has made life harder than it needed to be.
If I was battling something, I suppose I felt like I was achieving something.
Food has always been my comfort/escape since my parents seperated. I saw things I should not have.
I had a good career, but lost it due to Mental Health. Every time I had issues in life, food has always been my drug, sugar being the big one.
I’ve binged so much, I have high cholesterol.
I’m sorry if I’ve done a long post, but this has been therapy, to write it down for others to read.
I know I can overcome this. Thank you for reading and allowing me to help myself.
Hi Michael,
I have been binge eating since I was approx. 13 (20years). It started b/c of anxiety and dieting at a young age. As I went through puberty and began to feel the changes in my body (weight gain included) and other things going on in my life, I couldn’t handle the stresses and anxiety they caused. I began to binge eat behind closed doors. Certain things were pointed out by family members(in love). My mother always had sweets in the house and sometimes more then we should have. We grew up almost always having dessert after dinner. -my mom was alergic to a lot of basic foods and sweets growing up, so after she grew out of them she made sure she had sweets in the house. She also hid sweets, that she did not intend to share with us, in her room or secret places. (I think part of this was just b/c as a mother of four she didn’t get to eat all that she wants before we got to then.) ? my parents always dieted as well as myself and my older sister. My parents still diet to this day. I come from an Italian/Irish family, we love to eat!
I only figured out that I was a binge eater this past year. I knew I ate too much and that I was sneaky about it, but I was fed a ton of excuses on top of my own through out my life. For example: all mom’s eat their kid’s leftovers! Or everyone is an emotional eater! Or we are Italian food is our life! And although my family is not over weight by hundreds of pounds, they all have eating issues and should change their ways.
I am now a mother of four young children and am trying my best to raise them right especially when it comes to food and health. We talk about food being a source of nourishment and exercise is good for your body to grow strong and healthy. We keep fresh fruit and veggies for snacking and sugary things are for treats and special occasions or even just now and then. We try to keep processed foods as low as possible and we cut out HFCS almost completely. If we have leftover candy from a party or Halloween, I keep it high and we combine it all into one bowl. When they want a piece they have to ask and I give them only a few choices. I hope that from our routine of only having a bit now and then or on special occasions, it will be second nature for when they are on their own.
I still binge eat, but since I have put all of this together and stopped living in denial, I am more conscience of my choices and what I do during my low points where I am in danger of binging. I am still ashamed and feel guilt, but I pray that I can add your techniques to my daily routine and finally recover from this life long struggle.
One more thing I would like to say for the benefit of others who may be in the same situation, talk about your real struggles with a trusted person! Someone who is going to be a good listening ear and also a support. Because you can’t listen and tell EVERYONE! You will get all kinds of advice and even excuses! In my experience, even though my family and friends wanted to make me feel better, telling me that I was normal and every one does it, this was not helpful. I had to find someone who would listen to my struggles and say, “this is a tough situation and you have a lot on your plate!” – no pun intended ?- then after that they said how can I help! This was huge for me! I needed someone to validate my struggles and then support me and give me tools to move forward.
I pray for everyone out there who struggles with binge eating! I pray for yours and my healing! We can do this!!! Thank you Michael!
Peace be with you,
Michelle<
Thanks for the kind words.
We are here for you.
Together we can walk out of this.
It’s all about the community.
M